Finding Balance in Armageddon

James sat in his corner cubical, wiped the sweat from his brow, and picked up the next paper from the stack labeled, "Not Approved."  The orange hue from the fires outside made it seem like sunset, but the clock clearly stated 2:30.

He heard keys fumbling in the front lock, and then the door flung open.  Tom Trudeau, his district manager, blew past him, nearly sprinting.  James turned in his swivel chair and watched as Tom flung a Motivational poster off the wall in his glassed office.  Tom spun some dials on a safe that the rest of the office personal assumed was there, but had never seen, and pulled the contents into a small backpack.


James looked around the office to see if anyone else was witnessing this crime, but he had forgot. They all ran out screaming when the bombs landed.

Tom hurriedly zipped the bag up and then noticed James.

"James, what the hell are you still doing here?"

"It's only 2:30 in the afternoon? And I have hours of revised applications to go through."

"What? You dumbshit! The world is on fire, and you want to give some rejects a closer look?" "Newsflash, nothing matters anymore. We've been attacked. I bet 75% of the city is gone.  You need to call your family, see if everyone is okay.  This building is probably going up in flames in a matter of moments! There might be more bombs!"

"I don't have any family; at least not anywhere near here."

"Well, do whatever it is you robotic weirdos do...I would advise you to find some shelter or something...This is only gunna get worse!"

"I have so much work to do, though.  God, I hate disasters, they always upset the balance..."

"The balance?  What are you talking about? Nobody gives a crap about any account reviews.  I randomly choose 1 of the 7 accounts you send back, and approve it. I don't even look at your revisions. Okay?  This job? Your job? It's a joke."

"This job is not a joke. I get people approved for loans whom wouldn't normally qualify.  All these memos and quotas we have to meet, you've established them..."

"Yeah, and now I'm outta here." Trudeau pressed a Post-it note with the words "Today's Memos" onto Johnson's forehead.

"Why are you taking office equipment and that cash, " Johnson replied, looking at the now-full backpack. "That money was intended for Loancorp?  I don't even need to consult the employee code of conduct to know that what you are doing is against corporate policy."

"Policy? You are some kind of weirdo homeschooled kid aren't you?  Look, I don't have time to talk legalities...it's every person for himself!"

"Every person for himself?  Is that our new policy?"

"What? Yeah, sure, if it'll help you survive!"

Tom Trudeau, district manager looked in disbelief as James Johnson, senior account reviewer, and the office joke's fist made contact with his chin.

It knocked Tom clean out.

James Johnson picked up the backpack. "Thanks Tom, I'll be taking the rest of the day off." The new corporate policy didn't make much sense, but it was the first benefit Johnson had received in his long career with Loancorp.

Johnson walked outside into the balmy heat and removed another layer of clothing. The world really was changing quickly, James thought.  "Watch, Learn, Adapt, Master; repeat," he thought to himself. Mom was right, he could make it in this world.

He walked into the neighboring Best Buy looking for something interesting to purchase, but realized he was alone.

Like a scurrying rat, one last Geek Squad employee in a blue shirt shot out from the stockroom.  His hands full, like Tom, probably pilfering, only in this case, the best gaming computer the store sold.

James tracked him down, "Hi, I was wondering who could help me with some large purchases?"

"Are you kidding, dude? The employees left hours ago...the store's all yours!" and tossed him some keys.

Wow, James thought, this calamity is really paying dividends. 

He had never thought of owning an electronics store...but it sure beat living in his 600 square foot apartment.


After a few hours of remodeling, James had furnished himself a large corner office. He even set up a brand new side-by-side fridge, a Keurig espresso coffee maker, and top of the line microwave, giving himself an office kitchen.  The rearranging had really worked up a sweat. Someone must've set the thermostat to 80 degrees he thought.

It's foolish mistakes like that, that get upstart companies rejected loans. One has to be savvy with the bottom line.

Johnson started work on a business proposal: JJ's BB EE.  James Johnson's Best Buy Electronics Experience. His own creative mind gave him a chill down the spine. The heebeegeebees.

He walked to the front window, as the sound of sirens blared everywhere, and locked the doors for the night. The orange glow remained, but a more beautiful pink hue fought the darkening sky. It reminded him of a painting in a hotel room. A room with a view.  More like a warehouse with a view.

At the edge of his parking lot, he saw a car crash into a telephone pole. The pole fell to the ground, sparks flying everywhere. A truck pulled up behind the crashed car and forced the injured woman from the car into the truck. She appeared to be yelling protests.

Johnson got the heebeegeebees again.  "The world is going to hell...Thank God I got this great investment."

He flicked the main lights off at the electrical panel and walked back to his corner office, now lit by just a small lamp.  He looked at his business proposal, and with all pride of a mother on graduation day, stamped the file: APPROVED.

Watch, Learn, Adapt, Master; Repeat...he wrote on a post-it note...then added, and become your own boss.  

And before he could pull the string on the lamp, it went out on its own. "Must be time for bed, Johnson thought as he leaned back in his swivel leather chair. He disrobed down to his undershirt and boxers, but still felt the heat of the building.

Tomorrow I've got to find the thermostat and turn the heat down...and get some curtains to block out these sunsets, then I'll finally have balance.  He leaned back once again in his chair, smiled, and slept like the dead. 



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