Private Hobbit Lives vs. Public Wizard Personas

Thanks for this line of toys Lego.  Basically extortion.  

I am a little bit Hobbit.  I always find room for elevenses (even after a hearty 2nd breakfast); love pyrotechnics; and my idea of an adventure is adding ginger ale to my orange juice. Hobbits don't want to be bothered, and frankly, I'd love to live a life free from unannounced visitors or ever having to "sell" myself online.

I sometimes wonder how well There and Back Again, A Hobbit's Tale, would sell today, as Bilbo Baggins was a grumpy old halfling, and his marketing would be horrible. He'd probably slip-on the One Ring in the middle of interviews, disappear, and drive his publicist crazy.

Which is why, as an author (I use that term loosely, as my novel still isn't published), I am struggling with my inner Hobbit and my need to be more like Boromir. Boromir was loud, openly political, and honest with his desire to be the king of Gondor. Boromir would be a perfect modern author.  If he wrote something like, Wielding Swords and Inadvertently Offending Other Beings, he would already have the platform in place to make money.

When I started this whole book writing thing, I thought perhaps I could use a pseudonym, maybe Christof-the-Charcoal, so that I could keep my life, my life. But in this branding day and age, where my name has to be saturated in no less than 5 social media applications, being a Hobbit, or even being a respected yet reclusive wizard, is not an option. I have to accept the friend requests of Orcs, Goblins, and demented River-folk with god-complexes on all occasions.

If I was a wizard, I would use my magic to put mustard
on my hotdogs as well.  And I'd look like that.  

Recently, a number of Uruk-hai (my current high school students) have found my social media namesakes and "followed" "liked" and read up on all my digital writing forays. I know this shouldn't bother me, and it doesn't, really, as I don't have much to hide; yet it is...unsettling.

Teachers don't get to have much of a private life. We already have to be careful about our political leanings, our faith-oriented beliefs, and constantly monitor our words and actions, as anything, ANYTHING, can and will be used against us, in the court of public opinion. It's the reason I don't go to bars (plus I'm too cheap to pay six dollars for any kind of spirit--I know, very un-Hobbit like).

For a while, some school districts were not even allowing teachers to have social media presences. Most districts have loosened this regulation, as it would drive away many a good Klout-scored hipster from the profession. Plus it's a losing game. The world has gone digital, and we don't need any more Ent-ish old fogey teachers trying to remain "hip" with the kids by reading e.e. cummings.  I never figured my internet life and my private life would conflict. I've always enforced a policy of not accepting any "friends" or "followers" under 18-years old and/or still in school.  I still have this policy, but I am unable to stop these younglings from voyeur-ing into my life.  Reading my words. Peeping into my public-private domain windows. Sure I could block unintended traffic, and make my accounts "hidden," but that would be counterproductive to what the publishing industry wants: exposure.

So I walk this strange line of trying to build up an audience with silly opinions and bad literary metaphors while also keeping my private life clean enough to be "school appropriate." I love teaching and writing. Can they not be married? Do I have to live a secret polygamous life where neither love interest knows about the other?

I guess, like Frodo said, "I will take this {burden} though I do not know the way." So Orcs, Dwarves, Ents, Elves, or whatever you are, you are welcome here.  My opinions and wit may cause a rift in Middle-Earth, but as long as we can keep the Trolls and Sauron away, I think we can survive this journey together. Who's ready for Supper, or is it Dinner time (these Hobbit meal schedules are so hard to maintain)?