Private Hobbit Lives vs. Public Wizard Personas

Thanks for this line of toys Lego.  Basically extortion.  
I am a little bit Hobbit.  I always find room for elevenses (even after a hearty 2nd breakfast); love pyrotechnics; and my idea of an adventure is adding ginger ale to my orange juice. Hobbits don't want to be bothered, and frankly, I'd love to live a life free from unannounced visitors or ever having to "sell" myself online.

I sometimes wonder how well There and Back Again, A Hobbit's Tale, would sell today, as Bilbo Baggins was a grumpy old halfling, and his marketing would be horrible. He'd probably slip-on the One Ring in the middle of interviews, disappear, and drive his publicist crazy.

Which is why, as an author (I use that term loosely, as my novel still isn't published), I am struggling with my inner Hobbit and my need to be more like Boromir. Boromir was loud, openly political, and honest with his desire to be the king of Gondor. Boromir would be a perfect modern author.  If he wrote something like, Wielding Swords and Inadvertently Offending Other Beings, he would already have the platform in place to make money.



When I started this whole book writing thing, I thought perhaps I could use a pseudonym, maybe Christof-the-Charcoal, so that I could keep my life, my life. But in this branding day and age, where my name has to be saturated in no less than 5 social media applications, being a Hobbit, or even being a respected yet reclusive wizard, is not an option. I have to accept the friend requests of Orcs, Goblins, and demented River-folk with god-complexes on all occasions.

If I was a wizard, I would use my magic to put mustard
on my hotdogs as well.  And I'd look like that.  
Recently, a number of Uruk-hai (my current high school students) have found my social media namesakes and "followed" "liked" and read up on all my digital writing forays. I know this shouldn't bother me, and it doesn't, really, as I don't have much to hide; yet it is...unsettling.

Teachers don't get to have much of a private life. We already have to be careful about our political leanings, our faith-oriented beliefs, and constantly monitor our words and actions, as anything, ANYTHING, can and will be used against us, in the court of public opinion. It's the reason I don't go to bars (plus I'm too cheap to pay six dollars for any kind of spirit--I know, very un-Hobbit like).

For a while, some school districts were not even allowing teachers to have social media presences. Most districts have loosened this regulation, as it would drive away many a good Klout-scored hipster from the profession. Plus it's a losing game. The world has gone digital, and we don't need any more Ent-ish old fogey teachers trying to remain "hip" with the kids by reading e.e. cummings.  I never figured my internet life and my private life would conflict. I've always enforced a policy of not accepting any "friends" or "followers" under 18-years old and/or still in school.  I still have this policy, but I am unable to stop these younglings from voyeur-ing into my life.  Reading my words. Peeping into my public-private domain windows. Sure I could block unintended traffic, and make my accounts "hidden," but that would be counterproductive to what the publishing industry wants: exposure.



So I walk this strange line of trying to build up an audience with silly opinions and bad literary metaphors while also keeping my private life clean enough to be "school appropriate." I love teaching and writing. Can they not be married? Do I have to live a secret polygamous life where neither love interest knows about the other?

I guess, like Frodo said, "I will take this {burden} though I do not know the way." So Orcs, Dwarves, Ents, Elves, or whatever you are, you are welcome here.  My opinions and wit may cause a rift in Middle-Earth, but as long as we can keep the Trolls and Sauron away, I think we can survive this journey together. Who's ready for Supper, or is it Dinner time (these Hobbit meal schedules are so hard to maintain)?

10 comments:

  1. I'll fess up, I don't understand a single hobbit reference but I'm incredibly sympathetic about the dual structure you are trying to maintain. I decided that I wouldn't push or even really mention my blog to family or friends, mainly because I wanted to see if it would survive or grow without them. Well, that and I've done some dumb stuff. I couldn't do 95% of my posts if I had potential career ramifications.

    I wish you luck with the balancing act. As a foul mouthed, opinionated idiot I could never do it.

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    1. You read this without knowing any of the Hobbit references? You just interpreted a different language, my friend. Well done.

      I too, am an opinionated idiot, who has found a way to trim most of my foul language by the wayside. Some day, though, I will probably get reprimanded for saying something "too honest."

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  2. Hang in there, Chris. Teaching is hard enough without worrying about your social media presence too. Good luck, and enjoy that supper or dinner!

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    1. Thanks, I'm not too worried about my social media presence (but I do find it annoying that it is necessary for publication purposes).

      My lemon-pepper Cod was fantastic, thanks.

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  3. I love how you tied in all the Hobbit references...you did it so perfectly!! You know I totally sympathize with you in this. While teaching, I made my facebook completely unsearchable, so try as they might, my kids couldn't find me. Now that I'm blogging and looking for alternate careers, I've slackened on my privacy, though I'm really not sure I'll be able to do that once I begin teaching again. I've been debating what to do once (if) I get back into teaching. Back in the days, I made myself a very public teacher facebook page with no personal information, so it gave the students a chance to connect with me online (basically an extra outlet in which to bug me over homework deadlines) plus it deterred them from finding my personal page. (It was also approved and even suggested by our principal, since we were absolutely not allowed to "friend" students on our personal pages---not that I did, but you'd be surprised at how many of our teachers had. Weirdos.) However, I still kept my strict privacy settings on my personal account. Maybe make your blog a facebook page? Yeah, your name will still be tied to it, but it'll be a way to market your writing while still keeping some of your life private, and a less likely reason for anyone to ever take you to court. It's such a scary situation for teachers. Honestly, I don't think there really is a happy balance for us, but I think it's worth taking a risk when it comes to writing and getting published. Good luck!

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    1. Erica, you could copy and paste that reply on your blog. Ta-Da, instant blog entry.

      You make a lot of good points. Points I considered and enforced a while ago, but gave up on (other than the nobody under 18/graduated rule).

      I am a teacher and a writer. You'd think they would go hand and hand together. I just have to find a way to make them work simultaneously.

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  4. I love this post for a variety of reasons, but mainly that you extol the benefits of elevenses, which I observe every day. Also, any reference to LOTR is cool by me.
    I understand this quandary you're in. I have tried to keep my social media life separate from work for fear of getting fired, but it's hard. I was using a pseudonym for a while, but some social media sites would automatically link to personal accounts using my real name - so basically I have two names now.
    That must be compounded when hundreds of tech-savvy kids are hunting you down like a pack of wild dogs. Good luck!

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    1. For elevenses today I had Jalapeno Kettle Chips. It was not a healthy or stomach friendly snack, but I don't care.

      Sometimes the side-effect of elevenses is bad breath, which keeps the wild dogs at bay (as they will try and talk through my prep period if I let them).

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  5. If you were more boring, the students would have no interest in reading your stuff. Among all the garbage that the kids read on-line everyday, your blog is a treasure chest!
    I do facebook befriend students, if they are female and in high-school. I have edited my privacy settings so that I cannot be tagged in anything that I don't approve. This eliminates, you know, all those drinking photos from high-school party days... Oh wait... This eliminates the stupid photos of me making this face:

    https://www.google.com/search?q=andy+sandberg+silly+face&client=firefox-a&hs=4lT&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=iWyVUYCVOsXRigLJuoG4Aw&ved=0CAoQ_AUoAQ&biw=1024&bih=675#imgrc=mPc_rNzopMjeeM%3A%3Bia2HJQCrXQdSJM%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.premiumhollywood.com%252Fwp-content%252Fuploads%252F2010%252F12%252Fk-wiig-2.jpg%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.premiumhollywood.com%252Ftag%252Fandy-samberg%252F%3B330%3B274

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    1. Thanks for the super short url link, Natalie. Only a Home-source kid would do this on the internet. : )

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