What I've Learned in 1 Year of Blogging

Well, it's been a year. Normally, when events like this pop up, your traditional blogger will do one of those give-away things, where you sign up your email, follow me on twitter, facebook fan page me, and I will enter you into a drawing to win a Kindle Fire or something equally appealing.

You can't have my Boba clock, Italian
guitar keychain, or computer.  But Instant
Lunch is a possible prize.  

I, though, am not your average blogger.  While I'd love to reward my faithful readers, the only thing I can offer is some old Ikea furniture, the bathtub/shower enclosure I pulled out of my bathroom two years ago, or some cheese. (Really, we have lots of cheese right now).

I'll try not to be cheesy. I do appreciate your readership. I need it.

I signed up for this blog thing a year ago in hopes of getting my novel published. I read a number of other "influential" bloggers who said, "start a blog. Get 30,000 views a month, get 8,000 or so twitter followers, have a Klout score in the 70s, become a hipster, overthrow Kim Jun Il's tyrannical government, get the NSA out of our bedroom, and we might publish your novel."

I tried, and I failed. At all of it, and now I'm on the NSA watch list.  (I think they thought my prison music video was real).


From what I've read, I do have some nice numbers: I got almost 90,000 page views for the first year;  I've had something like 15,000 unique visitors; and two of my blogs have been viewed by over a thousand different people. That seems good, but still nowhere near "where I'm supposed to be."

Well, okay. But I'm proud of the fact that I sweated out over 100 articles in this year. I purposely don't write fluff articles (besides this one) about my day at the beach or my nacho recipes, (even though those type blogs do better than mine) because I can't do that. To me, writing is something that allows me to show my depth, not just be a slightly sarcastic, sports junky, weirdo.  If Shrek was an onion, than I am a 7 layer Mexican bean dip--some days I'm just cheesy, other days I'm like a complex guacamole.  I prefer it that way. I think most people are complex, they just have different ways of portraying it.  (Like throwing remotes at the television during sports events shows my passionate side).

I've learned some things about blogging along the way. I'm going to make really huge logic leaps based on my little bit of evidence and knowledge of this year of blogging.

Teacher comments:  Just keeping it real. 

• Guys don't read. I'd venture to say that 75% of my traffic is women. With a house full of girls, and a reader base filled with them, I should just start taking estrogen pills. 
• Nobody likes to read about sports. These blogs never do well. The difference between fanboys (like Star Wars or Ironman) and sports fans, is that fanboys actually practice intelligence. They do research and know their stuff, whereas sports fans rely wholly on emotion (see my remote comment above). No sports fan wants honest coverage of his/her team. We want propaganda.  
• Honesty goes a long way.  Personal stories (especially at my expense) do well. 
• Humor is hard to predict. I try to be funny. It's hard to put out a blog every three days and be truly funny, so it's hit and miss. I have a diverse readership, so to some, Eddie Murphy in The Nutty Professor is funny (I don't think so), and to others, Dr. Martin Clunes from Doc Martin on PBS is comedy perfected. I try to write comedy somewhere in the middle (while keeping it mostly clean). This is a hard act to perform without getting heckled.   
• Controversy doesn't equate readership. Most people just don't care about issues. They'd rather have a really good nacho recipe.  
• Politics hasn't earned me any readers, but faith based topics have.  Maybe people do like being preached at, as long as it isn't preaching what political party you or I should be affiliated with?  
• Titles and pictures bring in audiences. A great title and a corresponding photo does more than anything else to draw random (curious) readers. Even my own friends and family will not read my blog, when not prompted with an image based link. We, as a nation, are easily distracted. 
• Comments are the most encouraging thing readers can do. I know it's hard to log in, or you have a thing about being "anonymous" on the "grid." But truth is, just like in school, the comments on papers are what makes good writers. While B+'s were nice, it was the comments the teacher scribbled that made my day. Likewise, impacting someone enough for them to leave a comment is what keeps me doing this. And no, the NSA will not make the IRS audit you for commenting on my blog.  
• No publishers are looking. I was duped. I started this with the intent of getting a book deal. Nobody in publishing cares. Their world is so chaotic right now, that unless I write the next Gangnam Style video, they aren't interested. Self publishing is the direction almost everyone is going now, and some are even making money at it (or at least better percentages).  
• I like writing. Even if I'm only okay at this, and the average visitor only spends 1.8 minutes on my site (not long enough to even look at the pictures), I still have points to make and jokes to butcher.  

Other blogs to check out (as I appreciate their efforts and writing): The Cat Lady, The Moral, Julie's Musings, Yeah, I'm a Nerd, Plumbliners, Thin Spaces, Elena Dillon, and to all my friends and family still sharing or still commenting after a whole year (yeah, there are still a few), I love you guys.

Oh, and if you become a follower of mine on any social media, I'll let you choose from a fine selection of slightly past pull-date cheeses. Now there's incentive.