Stop Spamming Me India, and Get Your Own Job!

To my friends in Asia, specifically India, ENOUGH ALREADY!

I've had it up to here with your crappy spam comments. I realize you want linkbacks to your horse manure websites, but please, please...learn how to read (in English), learn how to write (in English), learn how to be relevant (in English), and THEN develop a website (in English).

I took four years of Spanish in high school, and two more years in college. I can fumble my way through a conversation with a native speaker only if they have a high tolerance for butchery of their language.  Pero, no conduszco que yo eres un expertito en Espanol.  Yo soy un tonto gringo.  And as much as I enjoy Univision soap operas, I will not create a Spanish fanboy page to Amigas y Rivales.

So why do people in foreign nations desperately try to redirect web traffic to their woebegone

Exactly why we don't build Lego houses.  

websites?  I mean, the majority of these sites are worse than buildings designed by 5-year-old Lego architects. "Oh, beautiful multi-colored cottage/castle, little DeJuanarian ('cause every American kid nowadays has an original, epic name), you are the next Frank Lloyd Write."

Take, for example, this unintentionally hilarious website, which was recently linked to my site with the lead-in: how can you Get Pregnant with a girl.  Are we really that worried about Asia's superior educational standards bypassing American children, when they litter the internet with this kind of rubbish?

It's becoming a full time job to keep this illiteracy off my pages.  

In America, we might praise little DeJuan for his creative skills, but we don't give him (or her) blueprints to start manufacturing large scale versions of Lego monstrosities.  Yet apparently in India, if you have a second grade understanding of English, you are ready to start hawking goods and services via the interwebz.

In reality it is quite sad. My site and many others, use the annoying captcha sign-in process to stop bots and viruses from flooding my page with spam. If I didn't use this system, my comment pages would be filled with Daleks typing: "EXTERMINATE!" So many web designers in impoverished nations, desperate for hits, pageviews, and unique visitors, pay actual human beings (who can bypass the captcha process) to type nonsense on legitimate sites like mine, hoping their URL will sneak through the admin process.  As if my intelligent readers would be dumb enough to read these comments and then click a link that says: check out my website:  home potty training.

I'm guessing these human spammers get paid very little, because they aren't talented writers and their reading comprehension is very bad.  They seem to think every one of my articles is about parenting or losing weight. Maybe they don't read my articles and just assume I'm an obese daddy blogger, since 90% of American blogs are written by hyper reactive parents who love talking about their kids or skinny people who love to pretend they were once fat.

Mmm ... orange curry slop. 

If so, then thanks for typecasting Americans, India. Thankfully I'm open-minded and friendly enough to not stoop to the same level, even though I was tempted to mock curry sauce, and think Vishnu has too many arms. But that would be stereotyping.

Come to think of it...another three arms would be perfect.

At least America and England have a stranglehold on this English language. And thank God, because blogging is a cash cow. I don't know what I'd do if I lost this non-paying job to somebody in India...probably take up snake charming, just to put an Indian out of work.

*All stereotypes were written under duress, and do not represent the actual feelings of the author.  Any misrepresentations were clearly meant to be humorous in nature, but like usual, missed the mark.