What 20th Century Person are You: Another Stupid Personality Test

Unless you've been imprisoned in Gitmo the last few years, you've probably noticed that your social media newsfeeds have been littered with personality tests.  Suddenly Beth is now Catniss Everdeen (from Hunger Games), Rick is Chunk (Goonies), and your Grandma Mary is Rizzo from Grease (which made you reconsider how you look at Gram-Gram).

The idea is so overplayed that a parody is due.  I considered the idea, but realized that this is a blogging platform, and I don't have the ability to make bubbles to click and calculators to tally scores to lump you into a catagory. Instead I just made a stupid Keanu Reeves meme and posted it on my facebook page; yet everyone thought it was a real quiz. When they showed up on my site and saw that it was just the same old, same old WORDS, they got mad.  People don't like reading, they like taking easy to predict-the-outcome quizzes.

So I will appease. If you read Seventeen, Cosmo, or Redbook, or GQ (as I religiously do), you know how this process works. Add up your score and find where it fits in the column below.

The quiz is based on how you follow directions/instructions/rules.

A. When your mother tells you "No, you may not have an Oreo cookie," you:
  1. Pull off your Sketchers, toss them at your mother, and take five cookies anyway
  2. Say, "Okay mother, I love your decisions."
  3. Smash the container of cookies and say, "Now nobody can have one."
  4. Say, "Yes ma'am.  Would celery be a more appropriate snack?"
  5. Say, "Alright." Then when mom is gone, eat a Nutterbutter instead

B. When building Ikea furniture, you
  1. Force an Ikea salesman to build it, and deliver it for free for you
  2. Painstakingly lay out the parts and studiously follow every step
  3. You only buy Ikea furniture for the lumber/hardware. You build your own designs
  4. Build it to plans, but then add your own decorative flair and paint colors
  5. Copy the instructions, use real lumber/hardware instead, then return the item to store

C. When a new supervisor joins the staff at work, and makes sweeping changes, you
  1. Join every "change" committee so that you can partially control the outcomes
  2. Fall in love with every new strategy, and convince others that the new way is flawless
  3. Start an opposition group. Publicly declare you are against every new idea
  4. Make friends with the supervisor, try to manipulate situations for the betterment of all
  5. Ardently agree with everything the supervisor says, but in practice, do none of it

D. When following a lasagna recipe from the foodnetwork.com you
  1. Follow instructions, but if it doesn't turn out good, mail a package bomb to recipe creator
  2. Follow every rule (including the "pinch" of salt in boiling water). Leave glowing feedback
  3. Use the ingredients to make nachos instead
  4. Add personal favorites like oregano, dillweed, and Sriracha sauce, to give it a personal kick
  5. Open an Italian restaurant and claim this as your Aunt Belladonna's Sicilian staple dish

E. When ordering new Internet service
  1.  Insist they install it today, give you the promo rate for life, and demand a free router
  2. Accept whatever deal is going, and wait until the installer has an open date/time
  3. You don't need service. You built your own router and hacked into the cable system
  4. Package the deal with 4 other services, spend all day canceling services elsewhere
  5. Hook it up yourself, then call them to do it the right way. Then cancel w/in a week

F.  The freeway speed limit is there for
  1. Controlling the rest of traffic.  It does not apply to you
  2. Everyone's safety. Best to always comply with the posted speed
  3. Others. You don't own a car or drive. You are off the radar, literally and metaphorically
  4. Guidelines only. Sometimes it's okay to go faster, or under bad weather, slower
  5. Tickets and revenue only. You drive with a radar detector

G.  When joining a team sport, you
  1. Make yourself captain, play yourself in the best position, and kick off anyone you don't like
  2. Play anywhere, never make a stink, and sit out if too many players show up
  3. Get red cards, ejected, Technical fouls, etc. You don't know how to play with others
  4. Befriend the whole team, become versatile, and eventually become more important than coach
  5. Make up rumors about the person playing your position to get them kicked off team

H. When Building Lego sets (Homage to the Lego Movie)
  1. You only construct with black pieces (sometimes dark gray)
  2. Build off the instructions (then glue it together)
  3. Melt the Legos down for use in plastic explosives (I'm aware that C4 uses different plastics)
  4. Build the set, then tear it down and create your own variation
  5. Sell off the valuable pieces on eBay and junk the rest in a box

How did you score?

Based on your answers, you would be this stereotyped character in the twentieth century:  

If you answered mostly #1, you are the tyrant Joseph Stalin:  Rules usually don't apply to you; you don't follow orders, you give orders; if you can you  make the rules; you manipulate and coerce others into choosing your choices; you are a leader not a team player; you don't complain much, because you control your universe.  

If you answered mostly #2, you are the "Great Appeaser" Neville Chamberlain: You prefer the status quo vs. arguing; you are a peacemaker; somewhat passive-aggressive however you are more bark than bite; you prefer following to leading; you aren't a risk taker; you prefer vanilla ice cream; Applebee's is probably your favorite restaurant.

If you answered mostly #3, you are the "Lone Wolf"  Lee Harvey Oswald: Nobody understands you; you think outside the box (like way outside); you do things differently and don't care who judges you for it; you've never been able to work in groups; you frequently are labeled "extreme", but even the extremes like Soviets and/or libertarians have a hard time relating to your ideals. If channeled correctly you have the capability of creating good art and ideas like Hunter S. Thompson or Jackson Pollock and if not, well...

If you answered mostly #4, you are the nonconformist Mahatma Gandhi: You answer to nobody but yourself; Rules are mostly guidelines; justice lives only in truth; you are passionate about your beliefs; nobody can control what or who you are; you have the ability to mask manipulation under the creativity/intellect banner; you have a hard time relating to the other four character-types on this list, and are sometimes prone to judgmentalism.  

If you answered mostly #5, you are the manipulator/survivor Strom Thurmond:  You live by you own standards which nobody can change; you aren't afraid of being labeled a hypocrite (or anything else); if no good option exits, you will make one up; it's not wrong if it feels right; somehow you will stay employed longer than anyone else besides the fact that you're not well liked; you are vastly influential to a select few.   

How about my artwork, huh? Should I add decent artist to my average writing resume?


  1. Hmmm...I'm not sure I like my results. What was your address again? I have a package I'd like to send you ;)

    1. Well it does have "stupid" in the title. Perhaps my summations of each "type" were a bit harsh.

  2. Replies
    1. And, btw, I like the artwork. And now, I need to get back to my nonviolent protests and a nice glass of Mountain Dew....

  3. I was pretty much evenly divided between Neville Chamberlain and Mahatma Ghandi. Didn't much like the description of Chamberlain not having much of a backbone...but I do like Applebee's, although I have just found that I like Texas Roadhouse much better. Go ahead and decent artist to your resume.

    1. I just reread what my Neville Chamberlain description was. Wow...I think I judged the category based on how much I dislike Chamberlain's role in history. And, well, I like Applebee's and vanilla ice cream myself...most humans are probably non-confrontation (or peace-makers). I should probably add that to the description.

  4. I scored right into Strom Thurmond. Sadly...your assessment is correct. HAHAHA

  5. Love it!!!! Still considering the Grease character quiz.....but glad my grandmother isn't taking these quizzes...LOL!

    1. My 11th graders were watching Dead Poets Society, and at one point there is a party with all kinds of teenagers partying and making out...My class was a little to interested, so I said, "those are your grandparents making out in the late 50s..." They all groaned. Mission accomplished.

  6. Hahaha! This was great!! I got Neville Chamberlain, and your description is so spot on. (Vanilla is totally my favorite.) Also, kudos to those drawings!!

    1. I do like Vanilla. I find in my mid thirties, though, that I'm fighting my inner "Chamberlain" and trying to become more of a guy who stands up for himself in work/etc...I want a little more bite with my barking.

  7. I love this quiz, partly because I am a tie between Ghandi and Thurmond. I also love it because dang, homeboy can draw!