No One Left to Party With (Burning Out Your Audience).

I only teach half time this year, which has allowed me a few opportunities to get out and substitute the other half of the day.  I actually enjoy this.  Teaching subjects I'm not an expert in, and getting to know students which aren't mine in a casual manner, helps me remember why I got into this profession in the first place.  

All Biffs of the world need to be
punched by wimpy nerds.  

But there are butt holes that make the whole scenario not always enjoyable. I can handle class clowns and blurters and fidgeters just fine, but the straight-up jerk kids?  I don't understand them.  

One boy, a senior no-less, has recently been causing a ruckus in a class I frequently guest-teach.  He has no filters. Mean things, angry things, disgusting, sexist things, just spill from his mouth.  I kicked him out one day, which has only made him more testy with me.  He usually knows where to draw the line and stop, though, even as he mumbles inappropriate retorts under his breath (which means he has somewhat adapted his bad personality to social norms).   

The other day he kept referring to himself in the third person while wearing a superhero shirt.  He said he was his own favorite superhero. I looked around and the rest of the class was sick of his antics and his ego. They neither laughed at his jokes or respected him as a human being.  

After dealing with a number of his dumb outbursts, I finally said, "Wow, you are quite the legend in your own mind, aren't you?" He didn't fully understand my put-down, and it's probably good, it was out of frustration (and not very professional).  

But I had an epiphany.  

All of us are seeking an audience. We want people to like our statuses on Facebook.  We want people to engage in our posts, or to go read our links. We all want kudos (or Kudos Bars). But most people don't post all that often, they aren't that narcissistic. They just need a pick me up every once in a while.    

Yes, Sarah, I see
your hand.  Now
put it down.  

But then there are those of us who NEED an audience. Those of us who are trying to build a platform, and need numbers, and likes and comments in hopes to get noticed (and eventually paid)...WE SOCIAL PROMOTERS ARE THAT KID.  

We bloggers, band promoters, actors, singers, musicians, authors, artists, performers, etc.---to the outside world--are the annoying know-it-all kid always raising his hand and answering the teachers question. We are the kid who has to blurt nonsense in the middle of a formal lecture. We are the annoying cheerleader claiming her new haircut wasn't properly done (all the while fishing for a complement from boys way below her status). We are the jerk saying things that aren't appropriate. We are the class clown that has overused his quota of jokes for the day. We're not just annoying the class or our Facebook pages, we are annoying the internet.  

Why have I come to this conclusion? Well, after a year of promoting this blog and trying desperately to build a grassroots website into something that carries some clout (or Klout), and impress big wigs at publishing houses, I have done something else: I have lost my friends.  

I'm not saying they've de-friended me. They just don't respond to any of my posts, or comment on any of my statuses, or read this blog anymore. Most have probably just blocked my links. That's fine...reading isn't for everyone. This blog isn't for everyone.  

And I realize that I've over-saturated my Facebook page and other social media with my stuff. I know that posting MY stuff all the time appears egotistical, but you have to understand that most of us people doing creative/artistic work, hate, HATE, LOATHE, pushing our stuff on people.  

Now this is promotion!  Anyone want
Plumbeddown.com on your forehead?  

I hate fishing for complements. I hate needing numbers. I am not a publicist. I am a writer. I like doing that. I like writing. I just hate the promotion side.  

And I've burned you out. I used up my quota of your "obligatory" feedback comments. And what I'm left with is Google traffic, which is fine.  

I still get good numbers. Some people find their way to my blog. My blog friends are loyal. But... 

But it just isn't the same. Blogging is hard. Being creative is hard. Not knowing if it connects with anyone is torture. And having an audience where there are no familiar faces in the crowd is terrifying.  

But I'm not doing this for you. I'm doing it for me. I'm going to keep on writing tenaciously, until it's only just me, talking to myself, because I have stuff to say. But I'd love to hear what you have to say as well.

With creative people? Probably a little of both.