No One Left to Party With (Burning Out Your Audience).

I only teach half time this year, which has allowed me a few opportunities to get out and substitute the other half of the day.  I actually enjoy this.  Teaching subjects I'm not an expert in, and getting to know students which aren't mine in a casual manner, helps me remember why I got into this profession in the first place.  

All Biffs of the world need to be
punched by wimpy nerds.  
But there are butt holes that make the whole scenario not always enjoyable. I can handle class clowns and blurters and fidgeters just fine, but the straight-up jerk kids?  I don't understand them.  

One boy, a senior no-less, has recently been causing a ruckus in a class I frequently guest-teach.  He has no filters. Mean things, angry things, disgusting, sexist things, just spill from his mouth.  I kicked him out one day, which has only made him more testy with me.  He usually knows where to draw the line and stop, though, even as he mumbles inappropriate retorts under his breath (which means he has somewhat adapted his bad personality to social norms).   

The other day he kept referring to himself in the third person while wearing a superhero shirt.  He said he was his own favorite superhero. I looked around and the rest of the class was sick of his antics and his ego. They neither laughed at his jokes or respected him as a human being.  

After dealing with a number of his dumb outbursts, I finally said, "Wow, you are quite the legend in your own mind, aren't you?" He didn't fully understand my put-down, and it's probably good, it was out of frustration (and not very professional).  

But I had an epiphany.  

All of us are seeking an audience. We want people to like our statuses on Facebook.  We want people to engage in our posts, or to go read our links. We all want kudos (or Kudos Bars). But most people don't post all that often, they aren't that narcissistic. They just need a pick me up every once in a while.    

Yes, Sarah, I see
your hand.  Now
put it down.  
But then there are those of us who NEED an audience. Those of us who are trying to build a platform, and need numbers, and likes and comments in hopes to get noticed (and eventually paid)...WE SOCIAL PROMOTERS ARE THAT KID.  

We bloggers, band promoters, actors, singers, musicians, authors, artists, performers, etc.---to the outside world--are the annoying know-it-all kid always raising his hand and answering the teachers question. We are the kid who has to blurt nonsense in the middle of a formal lecture. We are the annoying cheerleader claiming her new haircut wasn't properly done (all the while fishing for a complement from boys way below her status). We are the jerk saying things that aren't appropriate. We are the class clown that has overused his quota of jokes for the day. We're not just annoying the class or our Facebook pages, we are annoying the internet.  

Why have I come to this conclusion? Well, after a year of promoting this blog and trying desperately to build a grassroots website into something that carries some clout (or Klout), and impress big wigs at publishing houses, I have done something else: I have lost my friends.  

I'm not saying they've de-friended me. They just don't respond to any of my posts, or comment on any of my statuses, or read this blog anymore. Most have probably just blocked my links. That's fine...reading isn't for everyone. This blog isn't for everyone.  

And I realize that I've over-saturated my Facebook page and other social media with my stuff. I know that posting MY stuff all the time appears egotistical, but you have to understand that most of us people doing creative/artistic work, hate, HATE, LOATHE, pushing our stuff on people.  

Now this is promotion!  Anyone want
Plumbeddown.com on your forehead?  
I hate fishing for complements. I hate needing numbers. I am not a publicist. I am a writer. I like doing that. I like writing. I just hate the promotion side.  

And I've burned you out. I used up my quota of your "obligatory" feedback comments. And what I'm left with is Google traffic, which is fine.  

I still get good numbers. Some people find their way to my blog. My blog friends are loyal. But... 

But it just isn't the same. Blogging is hard. Being creative is hard. Not knowing if it connects with anyone is torture. And having an audience where there are no familiar faces in the crowd is terrifying.  

But I'm not doing this for you. I'm doing it for me. I'm going to keep on writing tenaciously, until it's only just me, talking to myself, because I have stuff to say. But I'd love to hear what you have to say as well.

With creative people? Probably a little of both.  

19 comments:

  1. Well, Mike and I are writers and I have an art and music site. My art is my business. I hated to over-saturate my facebook friends, so I created an art page to keep it separate; just for those who were interested. Only to find out that everything I post on my art page shows up on my facebook as well. And yes, I also LOATHE self-promotion and marketing--I just want to paint, and make music and write. But the promotional side of trying to make a living out of doing that seems to be the necessary evil. I think we just need to keep on going. I quit telling all my friends about my art shows, and maybe it's just as well to gather support from strangers, then I don't have to worry about burning out my friends.

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    1. I'm tired of necessary evils. I want unnecessary blessings. : )

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  2. Keep writing! No need to promote. Just write and put it out there and forget about it. I like to read your blog sometimes. I don't always like it, but I do enjoy getting a glimpse of your twisted, inside out pessimistic, ironic, self deprecating, sometimes enlightening insights into mundane everyday boring stuff. I could leave comments, but they would be brutal and blunt and to the point and you probably would hate me and block me! lol Still waiting for you to blow me away with truth, charm me with your wit, and inspire me. You have come oh so close and sometimes you do. I probably expect too much because I know your genes. You have very large shoes to fill...because truthfully when I see Plumbed Down, the Plumb reminds me of Larry Plumb. I would eat up every word he ever spoke. He was a GIANT of a wonderful humble, loving man. A blog about inspiring men like him and their stories from a younger generations perspective...now that would catch my attention! There is a wealth of insight and untold stories of wise men in every retirement facility. Their lives are boring and mundane, repetitive and very lonely, but I would love to hear what wisdom they would share and what passions for life they would guide a young man like yourself to follow. I want to read something inspiring or just plain real. You have an honesty that I like, even when I don't like it. Is Life in The Happy House any good? I need a good book to read.

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    1. Wow, comparing me to my grandpa is asking me to fill big shoes. Larry was a legend in the Silverton area (and anyone who knew him). It's actually very inspiring (and challenging) to ask me to live up to those standards. Thanks for the honest criticism. I don't get much of that.

      I might just take you up on that idea. (And Yes, Happy House is good, but I won't release it until it is great. It needs refinement from a professional editor, hence the reason I haven't self published).

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  3. I enjoy your posts. Keep writing. Selling books is hard and promoting is tough, but you have stories to tell. :-)

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    1. Thank you Penelope. I, like you, do have stories to tell. I just wish sometimes I had a publicist so I don't seem so egotistical.

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  4. I hear ya Chris. You know I've struggled and written about some of this same stuff. It's not easy. I too opted for an independent Facebook page for the blog. As for Google Plus, I use that mostly for the blog and Twitter I use to blur the lines. At least that way it's varied. I don't know, it keeps me happy having different things going on.

    As for being that kid, it's a struggle isn't it? When I finally wrapped my head around that is when I really started to let loose. I kind of figured if I was going to also shout out in class, I may as well do it exactly how I wanted. No sense in getting thrown out of class and not going all the way, right?

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    1. Good analogy. Nothing's worse than getting tossed out of class from a misdemeanor.

      I should start to promote my fanpage. I was waiting until my book was done, but it's time.

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  5. Oh my, I feel you on that. I HATE self-promotion. HATE. I would rather people just thought I was brilliant and flocked to my sight without it. *Sigh* I don't get very good google traffic, so if I'm not promoting, zilch.
    After a particularly bad month, I just stopped checking my stats. I'm doing it for me, and the popularity chasing was doing me no favors. I've been much more peaceful since then.
    It still sucks though. :(

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    1. Yeah, I switched off my old "magazine" style template and my numbers have dropped in half. But these are realistic numbers...not inflated as Blogger's Dynamic Views templates are.

      Still, even when I have a great day or blog post...my numbers are nowhere near what publishers want.

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  6. Your analogy of the obnoxious kid seeking an audience and bloggers doing whatever they can to build an audience is fascinating and works well. I have yet to promote my blog on my personal FB. Less than five of my friends even have an inkling that I blog. I'd be scared of the familiar faces and feel more comfortable with the strangers!

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    1. Initially I thought about starting this under a pseudonym...but publishers baulk at unknowns, so I made it very public, and it's been incredibly freeing. I don't say everything I want to say, here, for the fear of offending people close to me, but I say almost everything.

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  7. Hey Chris, I just want you to know that I am not one of those that get tired of your blog and have stopped commenting. I suspect that you have had several posts that I have missed in the busy-ness of moving and getting settled in, but I still look for them when I get a chance.

    When I started reading this post, I thought you were gearing up to say to that you were tired of blogging and that you were going to stop doing it. I was so glad to read that you plan to keep writing. I'd miss reading your work. Keep it up.

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  8. Oh yes, one more thing. Not only do I HATE self-promotion...I also stink at doing it. (Maybe that's why my illustrator for my 3 kids' books has earned WAY more than I have.)

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    1. Thanks Julie. I know your life the last few months has been crazy. I don't expect comments from anyone. More or less, this was aimed at some personal friends whom I've never heard from. There are times I've thought about quitting, but I've quit too many things in my life, and I really feel "called" to do this.

      It's too bad your illustrator has made more money, as that was my one criticism of your children's novels. My daughter liked the one we downloaded...but even she said, "the drawings are kind of weird."

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  9. I have still been reading your blog because I appreciate the rawness of it. Some it of I can connect to. Some of if I wish I could but I was not as noble as you in cases such as the Dahmer story.

    I have never felt flooded by your G+ posts or felt like you were fishing for attention. Keep up the writing.

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  10. I relate to your post. I haven't had a response on Facebook for over three weeks. oh wait, I deactivated my account. nevermind.

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  11. I think you're being too hard on yourself. I hate the promoting part too, but I've found that my real-life friends actually appreciate the links I share on my personal Facebook page (just for the ease of reading my blog without having to remember a URL). Maybe that's not the case for you, but have any of your friends said anything negative to you about linking your blog? I made a Facebook page for my blog, just so I could stop saturating my personal page, but my friends actually missed the links, so now I promote on both. (When I was writing, that is...haha...now that the wedding is done, I'll be back.) Promoting the blog Facebook page is annoying, and I always felt bad about doing it, but after you get it out there, you won't have to worry about filling up your personal page anymore if you don't want to.

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