Start an Affirmation Day Tradition to Celebrate Those Closest To You.

"Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic. Capable of both inflicting injury, and remedying it." -Dumbledore (movie only).

My Patronus would be a Skunk.  
While it's unclear whether J.K. Rowling wrote this line or if it was added by one of the many writers/producers in pre-production, it clearly symbolizes how she wanted her books/movies received. Words have power. Even in her world where dragons, trolls, magic wands, and ghosts flitter through the rooms, at the essence of what the series is about is human relationships.

Unlike Harry, I am blessed with a fantastic family that never locked me under the stairs. We are a family full of talented, loud, opinionated, funny, fun-loving, individuals that would drop everything to be there for each other. Yet, even with this unconditional love and guaranteed approval, we all still act like Dementors at times, casting Crucio curses at each other for no reason other than having a bad day.

It's not just us, it's an American thing. Think of the words we say about our President, our government, our Governor, our city council, our sports teams (when they are losing), our bosses, our friends (when they aren't in the room), our spouses...even our kids. We are a nation full of loose-lipped blasphemers that rarely find the time (or need) to apologize.

Even Potter struggled with this:

Harry: "Been having a nice little chat with her {Lavender} about whether or not I'm a lying, attention-seeking prat, have you?"

Hermione: "No, I told her to keep her {Lavender} big fat mouth shut about you, actually. And it would be quite nice if you stopped jumping down Ron and my throats, Harry, because if you haven't noticed, we're on your side."

So this year, after Foot-in-Mouth disease had infected many members of the family, and threatened to dismantle the Christmas season, we decided to combat the malady with a new holiday tradition: Ending the year with a session of positive words aimed at every member of the family--Affirmation Day.

Being affirmed, means strongly and publicly declaring one's support for, or defense of another's validity or existence. What greater gift can one give during the holiday break than to be 100% loved and validated by your closest kin, with only words meant in praise of your existence.

Some wrote a word or two, others a paragraph. I'm keeping mine.  
I'm not saying it was easy. We all had to write a word, a phrase, a sentence, or a paragraph of all the positive attributes of EVERY member of the family. We even did this for Eleanor (or Ellie as we call her), our 6 month old niece, who clearly will have no concept of the affirmation we just bestowed upon her. But it can, perhaps, be absorbed into her psyche. You don't have to be a believer in a Higher Power, like we are, or a Wiccan to understand that light or darkness can be imparted into other's lives by our choice. And we choose, as a family, to speak Life into each other.

So we bogged down, and spent a few hours writing and then sharing our words, sentences, and observations of others. Sometimes it was funny, as when my niece and nephew both choose "weird" and "crazy" to define me. I own those words. I am those words. I love that they chose those words to define me. Other times it was so emotionally overwhelming that it was hard to read out the words. Sometimes I heard words to describe my sisters or brothers-in-law that I wished I would've used myself; but by the end, after all 13 people had received their "anonymous" gifts of praise, nobody could possibly feel bad about themselves for at least a week.

My favorite line before and after the session, was when my 9-year-old niece said, "It's embarrassing, and hard to have people say nice things about you" (before we did the assignment), and afterwards saying, "It wasn't as hard as I thought, it actually felt quite nice to get compliments."

I don't know if it's sadder that we've conditioned ourselves to not receive compliments, or that we are so reluctant to give them out.

This world barely recognizes the light you bring to the world, and more often than not, tries to snuff it out. But this little Lumos light of ours? We're going to let it shine by praising those around me. We all could use a little Patronus on our side.

So this holiday and next, I encourage you to start your own Affirmation Day tradition. It might be awkward, and it might be difficult to think of nice things to say, but who else is going to do it?

What a better way to end the year, after all the drama, pain, frustration, and misplaced words, than to open a new chapter with the words that need to be shared? It's nice to know that somebody is on your side.

When you are comfortable with your family, it opens up opportunities for mockery. Like the flying LB bro-in-law.  



Say what you will, but this is all the evidence I need of God.  

12 comments:

  1. Beautiful photographs and an absolutely GORGEOUS idea. I love it. So glad that you did this (and wrote about it) and found it to be so full of Good.

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    1. Thank you. I wasn't going to blog about it, but it was just too real not to.

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  2. I love this idea so much. I think it is something that all families could benefit from, but it especially made me think of my family who has been very divided this year. I am going to suggest it for the next family get together.

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    1. Yeah, our family was dealing with one of our own hurting and needed this.

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  3. What a great idea! (Beautiful little girls!)

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    1. Thanks Meredith. Your boys are quite handsome themselves.

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  4. I definitely want to start this tradition! On one side of my family, we spend most of our get-togethers making fun of each other and doing our best to embarrass each other. While this can be fun, it can also cause hurt, and it's probably masking some deep rooted problems. I think my family and I could really benefit from doing this. Like your niece said, the thought of it, does make me feel awkward, and it's sad that we are conditioned to feel this way. If more people took part in traditions like your family's, maybe we can change that?

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    1. Yeah, we all do a lot of joking and teasing as well. Sometimes we go too far, and that's why this was necessary.

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  5. I learned the hard way what it felt like to lose someone that I had not ever told how precious they were to me. I made a vow then and there that when something goes through my mind, that speaks of a great value I perceive in another, I will tell them by mail, phone, email whatever it takes to get a hold of them right then. You are so wise, Chris, in creating this new endeavor. Taking others for granted is one of the greatest mistakes we can make.

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    1. Thank you Christina, I'd hate to wait too long for those really close to me...I need to work on this with that second teir of friends/family that I don't speak affirmation enough.

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  6. What a great tradition. I don't think my family would take it seriously enough, but man, do we need to do something like this.
    Those photos are GORGEOUS. It makes me want to go back to Oregon...

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  7. I love this idea, Chris. I think that all families, including (especially?) mine, could benefit from doing this. Maybe we wouldn't need to wait until the next family get-together. Maybe we could send each other affirming emails. I'll have to give this some thought.

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